CSFTDBMS: Installment 2

Today, I want you to imagine you are working for a developing company that builds custom homes.
You deal with subcontractors all day long. You are just nice and pleasant with them because that's the way things should be.
Imagine that one of them who does, say, masonry comes in a lot.
He calls and is very nice. Starting to be overly nice.
You aren't concerned though because his wife comes in all the time too. You know he is absolutely married.
And she is awesome.
Well, imagine he comes in one day and asks why you aren't married and you tell him, oh I don't know, whatever you want.
Then he proceeds to tell you that he just doesn't understand and that he will leave his wife for you.
You tell him he is crazy
He responds with "Crazy for you."
Later that day, he calls and you are uncomfortable because he is a creep.
You ask him to hold.
He says, "I will wait forever for you."
You tell your boss.
He tells him he doesn't have any more masonry work left to do.
He doesn't call for a long time
Your company starts a new house, and he starts coming around again. Great.

Chicken Soup for the Deadbeat Magnet's Soul: Installment 1

My friend and I are into these "scenarios." They may or may not have happened in real life. I send her these "scenarios" throughout the day. After I gave her a few doses, she said that I should write a book entitled "Chicken Soup for the Deadbeat's Soul." There will be a few installments. Book: yea or nay? :)

Imagine you are 18.
Your dad owns a roofing company.
His workers are a bit shady.
He needs something from the house, so he asks you to run it down to him. He's desperate.
You say, “sure thing dad, be down in a jiff”
It's around lunch time, your brothers are working along with your dad.
You hang with them for a bit and are having a good time.
The workers are starting to break for lunch.
Creepy long haired long time worker comes over and says, "Hey, want to go for some lunch? We're going to the shelter. It's free."

Scenario

Imagine you have been itching to get a gym membership since yours expired last summer and it's too cold to run outside. So you go to the gym across the way, on Tuesday. It's amazing. It's huge. And there is no contract. You become enchanted with the thought of a whirlpool and a steam room. And the free towel service. There are rows and rows of equipment. You get a tour from some guy, who points out the locker rooms. The doorway looks nice. You know this is the gym for you. You sign up that day. The gym is that great.

You go to work out on Wednesday. Running is tough. You go on Thursday, walking is easier. You sweat a little bit and the thought of driving home with sweaty hands makes you cringe a little bit. So you make your way to the nice looking doorway. Your ipod is thowing a hissy fit, so you walk into the locker room a little distracted. You look up. There is a man in boxer briefs standing in front of the mirror flexing. He's pretty tan.

"What is this man doing in the women's locker room?!" you ask yourself in horror. You blush, turn on your heel, and run from the room.

Since when are the women's locker rooms on the left and not the right?! Aren't they usually on the right?! Note to self: get the full tour next time. And don't listen to your ipod when you need to wash your hands.

I LOVE PREDCTIVE TEXT

As most of you know, I am terrible at spell checking my text messages. It gets me in some trouble sometimes, but mostly it just confuses people. I was the confused one by someone's mistake tonight. Here is a little back story. My friend Dan came to Institute tonight. He was sitting in the back by himself and I headed to sit by the girl I visit teach with my other friend. He pretended he was a little mad that I didn't come sit by him so I called him a "back row B student" and said he should come sit by us. Well, he sat behind us for a second and then said he was out of there. So I thought maybe my comment had offended him. Enter text:

Me: I hope I didn't offend you!

Dan: Oh no. I have singles and decided to head back home.

Me: Dan! You can't be bitter!

Dan: What do you mean I can't be bitter?

Me: You can't hate singles!

Dan: No. I have shingles. The virus infection. Ha!

You guys. I really like texting. It gives me a daily chuckle.

Mehico for Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. It gets me all geared up for Christmas buy counting all the many many things I am thankful to have in my life. And then for Christmas I get to celebrate the greatest gift. I wanted to go on another humanitarian trip so I went back to Mexico. It really made me more thankful for what I have been given. I am so spoiled and loved.

This is the cutest little girl in the world. Her name is Carmen. We went down to build her house. She was really shy and quiet at first but always had a smile on that cute little face. Then on Thanksgiving, FAI (the nonprofit organization we work with) threw a big party for us. Well, I think we were just and excuse. But the directors of FAI came as well as the mayor with his crew and lots of news reporters. After dinner, we had a big dance party and Carmen was the belle of the ball. Of course we ended up in a circle, so she was in the middle and would pull us one by one to dance with her until she was done with us. She didn't end up going home till around 11:00 or so and when we went to her house the next morning, she hadn't gone to school. She told her mom, "I was dancing all night. I will go to school on Monday!" So that's what happens when you let your kids dance the night away. She woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed when we got there and was so sweet to all of us. She went into her little house and brought each of the girls a little treasure to keep. I love mine, even though I don't really believe in worshipping Mary. But I love Carmen. It was a wonderful trip, and gave me another sweet little girl that I am so thankful I met.

Babysitting

My mom was babysitting the little Mr. aka Gabe aka the baby tonight. He is 6 months old. He was getting a little fussy so my mom told Craig to turn on the tv. Gabe loves to watch it apparently. And guess what Craig made him watch? Rambo.

I'm too sexy

Saturday was the monthly One Day Sale at Macy's. My grandma LOVES Macy's one day sales. So we went. Grandma started telling me how much she loves shopping at Macy's and saving all that money. And then she said. "Everything I am wearing right now is from Macy's." Then she started singing, "I'm too sexy for my pants. Too sexy for my shorts. I'm SO SEXY."

A Real Life Adventure

To preface this, my older sister has the most adventurous life. She's been to Morrocco and ridden camels. Worked in Athens during the Grecian Olympics. Worked at the Edinburgh festival. Gone to small New Year's gatherings with Hugh Jackman. Yes, she leads a glamorous life. So when the opportunity to sail to France with some hottie Frenchmen on a 44 foot sail boat, of course she took it. LIttle did she know it was a little more adventure than she bargained for! This is the email I received from my Linda-mom yesterday describing what happened.

"Before you read ahead, the good news is that Marilyn is safe.

She's had an adventure. I got a call at midnight, two weeks sooner than I expected to hear from her, so I knew something was wrong. She was on a satellite phone and could only talk for about 30 seconds, just long enough to give me some sketchy details. Their ship, the one she assured me was ' tight like unto a dish,' got in the path of a hurricane and either sank or was sinking. They set off a flare and were rescued by a Portuguese fishing boat. Most of my information came later when John called the Nova Scotia coast guard. The Portuguese boat is the 74-meter France Mort or something like that, but if so, the name is hilariously ironic, meaning the death of France and Marilyn's poor little French friend's sailboat. They were ploughing through 20 foot seas, which is pretty high for a 44-foot boat. High winds, rough seas, and hurricane season were just too much for them, and the sailboat was taking on water. The coast guard isn't going to meet up with the fishing boat for several days, and at that point they'll take her back to Nova Scotia. So we probably won't hear from her for another week when she gets to land. "

Can you believe that? Pretty crazy things. But my sister can add "surviving the sinking of a ship in the Atlantic" to her list of amazing life experiences.

This is so much more than she bargained for -- a daring midnight rescue at sea and a glimpse of life on a foreign fishing boat. I'm just glad I didn't ever watch " A Perfect Storm." Stay tuned for more details as they become available -- Linda/Mom

Movie Men

Okay, so I have been watching a lot of older movies and have realized that I have a crush on a lot of actors from back in the day. Holy cow. And now they are pretty old but are still pretty attractive for their age. That’s not to say that there aren’t any attractive men these days, because there are (Can you say Cory Monteith from Glee?! Whoa baby). And these aren't including the classics like Carey Grant, Elvis, James Dean and Paul Newman types. But a little later. Except Jeff Richards...

Here are a few that I was thinking about in no particular order:

Harrison Ford: Indiana Jones era. I mean, just look at him. I love his scruff. He's an archeologist AND a man's man.


Tom Skerrit. I saw him in Parent Trap 2. I know, way cheesy and I can’t believe I admitted to watching it, but I was curious… I couldn't find a picture of him when he was younger, but still, he was pretty attractive in his middle age.

Val Kilmer: Top Gun. Wow. Ignore his sweaty body and he still has a great face. He has a had a rougher aging process, but there is no denying he was a hottie.

Jeff Richards (Benjamin Pontipee from the 1954 version of 7 Brides for 7 Brothers). I really think he was the best looking of the brothers. I am so jealous of Dorkus. Even with a weirdo name she got a hunk of a man.

Dennis Quaid: 1979. This is from the movie Breaking Away. The group I went to Mexico with got mesmerized at a hole-in-the-wall restaurant and this is what was playing on the big screen. Call me crazy, but he really did have great hair, though the late 70's took their toll on it...

Tom Selleck: Yeah. Just look at him. He is just the epitome of a man's man. He's got great hair and gorgeous eyes. And he played a guy named Quigley. Who lived down under.

So that's what I was thinking. All out men. I'm sure there are more on the list. Feel free to add your two cents :)

Wedding Wishes

I went to a few weddings in the past few weeks and they all have those things where you write a little message or whatever. I never know what to say. But my little cousin sure knew what (or what NOT) to say on Alana's thingy: "Good luck while it lasts."