Thursday, July 28, 2011


Sometimes I feel like a total lame-o. It mostly comes out when I am meeting new people. This is how it usually goes.
  1. So are you in school… do you work? Oh, I graduated three years ago from BYU. I just work now. (I’m flattered they think I’m young enough to be getting my bachelor’s since that is what people mean when they ask if you are in school).
  2. So what did you study? Um, I got a BA in Linguistics.
  3. What is THAT? It’s the study of the different components of language. Like, syntax, phonology, phonetics, morphology. Stuff like that.
  4. What do you DO with it? Go to more school.
  5. So, what do you do for work? Oh, I surf the internet, cruise around facebook, and go online window shopping. I also answer the occasional phone call.
  6. Well that’s cool. So, do you live by yourself… or with roommates? I live with my parents.
  7. Wait, how old are you? I’m almost 28.
  8. Oh. Ok. So, are you dating anybody? Well… no.  And then I try to dress it up with something like, “my nephews are the most important men in my life.”
People! These are not good questions to ask! Good questions go something like this:
  1. When was the last time you went skydiving?
  2. Where did you take your last trip?
  3. Would you rather have locked knees or locked elbows for the rest of your life?
  4. Have you ever been attacked by a bear?
Things like that get you to really talk. And then the person answering doesn’t feel like a total loser.  I do have one really good thing going for me: at least I’m not dating the renaissance pokemon master. But who ever asks that?

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Breaking Up

What's worse than breaking up with someone you have been dating, I ask you? Having to break up with someone you WEREN"T EVEN DATING!