Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Chicken Soup for the Deadbeat Magnet's Soul: Installment 1

My friend and I are into these "scenarios." They may or may not have happened in real life. I send her these "scenarios" throughout the day. After I gave her a few doses, she said that I should write a book entitled "Chicken Soup for the Deadbeat's Soul." There will be a few installments. Book: yea or nay? :)

Imagine you are 18.
Your dad owns a roofing company.
His workers are a bit shady.
He needs something from the house, so he asks you to run it down to him. He's desperate.
You say, “sure thing dad, be down in a jiff”
It's around lunch time, your brothers are working along with your dad.
You hang with them for a bit and are having a good time.
The workers are starting to break for lunch.
Creepy long haired long time worker comes over and says, "Hey, want to go for some lunch? We're going to the shelter. It's free."

Friday, February 11, 2011


Imagine you have been itching to get a gym membership since yours expired last summer and it's too cold to run outside. So you go to the gym across the way, on Tuesday. It's amazing. It's huge. And there is no contract. You become enchanted with the thought of a whirlpool and a steam room. And the free towel service. There are rows and rows of equipment. You get a tour from some guy, who points out the locker rooms. The doorway looks nice. You know this is the gym for you. You sign up that day. The gym is that great.

You go to work out on Wednesday. Running is tough. You go on Thursday, walking is easier. You sweat a little bit and the thought of driving home with sweaty hands makes you cringe a little bit. So you make your way to the nice looking doorway. Your ipod is thowing a hissy fit, so you walk into the locker room a little distracted. You look up. There is a man in boxer briefs standing in front of the mirror flexing. He's pretty tan.

"What is this man doing in the women's locker room?!" you ask yourself in horror. You blush, turn on your heel, and run from the room.

Since when are the women's locker rooms on the left and not the right?! Aren't they usually on the right?! Note to self: get the full tour next time. And don't listen to your ipod when you need to wash your hands.