Tuesday, December 29, 2009


I took my little sisters to lunch today. Emma is the youngest. She is ten. We all ate A LOT of food. She turned to me and said, "I now know what adults mean when they say they are too full to go jump on the trampoline."

Monday, December 28, 2009

Stout Christmas Party

I did a post for my family blog with a play by play of the family talent show we had on the 21. It was so fun! If you want to see it, go here.

Grammy-cakes' Christmas Present

Each year, my mom's family all goes over to my grandma's (Grammy-cakes as I more often call her) for Christmas dinner. She is a fabulous cook. She is so good in fact that she spend a lot of her time catering. She is quite renowned for a lot of things, actually. Like cinnamon rolls. And eclairs. And scones. And lots of other things. Anyway, after dinner, we open gifts. Last year, I watched as all the grand-kids openned their piles of gifts. All she handed me was an envelope. I was a little bit confused but she didn't let me open it until all the gift openning was done. I have a really hard time waiting to open things that are addressed to me, so it was a chore to wait, let me tell you. Well, I opened the card (which was what my mom and two aunts also received) and inside was an invitation to join her at 6:00 a.m. for the Macy's day after Christmas sale and for breakfast! I felt like a snot because I was the only grandkid that got invited to go, but that wasn't going to stop me from going! It was such a fun morning. Not only were there absolutely fabulous sales, but I got to go shopping with my grandma, my mom, and my aunts. They can be so crazy! I have never seen three women shopping so furiously in my life!
This year, we got the same invitation, except my sister and cousin got to come. That made it even more fun! Alana wandered around with only a pair of shorts for the first hour. I hadn't really noticed because I had turned crazy like my mom and aunts. But then I went around and helped her get all caught up, mostly because she liked a lot of what I got so I just ran back and got some for her. It was such a fun morning. I felt kind of bad for the sales associates because she had to call for back-up and it still took forever to ring everything up. The aunts still went crazy, though my mom seemed to reign things in this year. But I guess it's not hard to be going nuts wehn evrything you like is only $5! I love Macy's!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Surprise Call

So yesterday I got into the office and I had six, yes SIX!, phone messages! That never happens! Most of the time, I have one, maybe two, or none. Anyway, one of them was from one of the bosses asking me to check on the status of an order. So I naturally called the company with receipt in hand. They picked up after the first ring, which is unusual. "Hmm," I thought to myself. Then a recording of a woman's sultry voice came on. "Whoa!" I thought yelled to myself. I had misdialed and reached an escort service! That will teach ME to start paying attention when I am dialing!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Ice Cream Cones

I always wondered how ice cream cones were made. Now I know... I must give credit to the BFF. She sent this to me in 2003. I jsut haven't been able to get rid of it.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I ask for nothing for myself. I just ask that you give my mother a son-in-law.



Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Red Sweat Pants

I wear a red fleece blanket (thanks Katie!) wrapped around my waist at work. That way, when I walk around the office, I am still wearing my blanket. It's like a fleecy skirt. I get super cold. It keeps me snuggly warm. Well today, a kid from high school came into the office. You know, one of those really good looking guys that never even knew you existed back then. But then they recognize you later and you think "What in the heck? You DID know I existed!" Well, we chat every now and again these days. He does business with the boss. Anyway, he spotted my red lower half. I stood up and he let out a sigh of relief. Then he said "Oh good! I thought those were red sweat pants and I was thinking 'Wow! You are really just letting yourself go!'" Red sweat pants? Really? I have never owned a pair of red sweat pants.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Coldy Woldy

I have never been one to enjoy cold weather. And yet, I have lived my whole life in places that have frigid temperatures in the winter time. Utah: the best snow on earth. That is, if you like to ski. I used to love to ski. My dad took us up almost every weekend when I was in fifth or sixth grade. I was a little hot dogger. Then I didn't go again until I was a junior in high school. This boy asked me on a date and we went to Alta (he was a big time skier). While he was going down black diamonds, the wind was blowing me over while I was standing in line to get up the bunny hill. No longer a hot dogger. I never did like hot dogs... I decided I would no longer embarass myself by going skiing. Then I went to Poland. Freezing cold Poland. It was negative a million degrees for six whole months. I would sometimes wear five layers of clothing. And I was still freezing. I think that is where my hatred blowy cold weather was solidified. Sometimes I will walk outside and freeze - not from the cold weather - but from fear that I will have to go tracting. Don't get me wrong, I loved tracting. My trainer somehow tricked me into liking it, which was a good thing because we spent a lot of time doing it. But tracting meant that we had to spend a lot of time outside. And this was a real problem. You see, I was told that I should buy boots in Poland because they would make them especially for their climate. Well, that was really good advice...for people who don't have sasquatch feet! My feet were too big, so my ankles were exposed for the duration of the winters. Also, three months before I went home, the zipper on my heavy coat broke. So, rather than buying a new one, I used my spring coat. Bad idea. So I guess it really is my own fault I don't like cold weather. But I guess we are in for the long haul. I suppose I should buy some boots this year since Americans make allowances for sasquatch people among them. I just hope I don't have too many more terrifying moments where I think I have to go knock doors...

Monday, December 7, 2009

Festival of Trees

Thursday last week, I dragged Mason to The Festival of Trees. I never seem to hear about things that are going on in the community. I suppose that is the result of "hermitage" but we'll never know. Anyway, my friend informed me that there was a tree donated in honor of his brother. So, I really wanted to see it. I just have to say that I cannot believe that I have never been to the Festival of Trees! I went once when my sister played the piano but I didn't really know what the event was for. All of the trees are donated, decorated, and then sold. Entry to the festival is $4. All proceeds go to Primary Children's Hospital. I was an emotional basket case. I couldn't help but cry when I saw pictures of those for whom the trees were donated. Mostly they were or had been patients of the hospital. I love Primary Children's. I love the statues and the art. I love that it is a place especially for kids.
This was my favorite tree. It was called "On the Reef" or something like that. It is made of rocks with sticks connecting it. It was so amazing! It would have been even cooler if they had turned it into a fountain... But I think that would have been going a little overboard.
Mason was scared of the Grinch tree with the large Grinch. I told him it wasn't real, but sometimes there is no convincing that boy of anything. I tell you what.
I am grateful that there are so many people who are willing to volunteer their time and donate to such a wonderful cause. I think next year I will have to venture out and figure out where to sign up to volunteer.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

From the Brink of Death

This is my office plant. I inherited it when I started working here a year and one month ago today. Thats the longest I have consecutively held the same job. But never fear, I was a student before then and a meanderer moving from place to place. So I had a reason. Anyway, this first picture is of one of the three depraved nubs that made up the office plant when I arrived. As you can see, this one hasn't really recovered. It keeps growing more little nubs. I found it dry as a bone and on "the brink of death."
I'm a little bit weird. I feel bad for plants. When trees are cut down, it makes me sad. (We have a fake Christmas tree). I really hate forest fires because all the plants die.
So when I saw the condition of my poor little inherited office plant, I had to start operation plant revival. Ok, so all I did was water it and set it by the window so it could enjoy the limited sunlight. But look at it now! It's a little champ! AND it has four blossoms. Blossoms! It's nice to know that my plant revival and the recyling I am doing at work is making my office a little more green. And now we won't be labeled office plant killers.

I'm not sure how to make it stop leaning so much. "Lucy, is this guy bothering you? It looks like he is leaning." I rotate it so the sun hits different parts. Meh, I dunno.

The Shunning

A few weeks ago, my bishop got up to make an announcement. He started off by talking about how when the ward went to Nauvoo last year, they also visited Amish country. Apparently, they have a custom of "shunning" when someone has done something wrong. That person is singled out in the congregation and everyone else is to "shun" them until punishment is satisfactory. Well, he and his wife had been in the airport returning home when his wife picked her sunglasses up off the register counter and put them in her purse. When she arrived home, she realized that said sunglasses were, in fact, mistakenly stolen. His announcement was that we all needed to shun her until the meeting was over.

Monday, November 30, 2009


I blew out of town on Wednesday last week and didn't do a proper Thanksgiving post. So I will do it now. I am thankful for:
  1. My relationship with my Father in Heaven, His Son, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost.
  2. My parents. All four of them. I have four of the best role models I could ever ask for.
  3. My brothers and sisters. I have the most fun with them and some of the most important experiences with them.
  4. Temples. I love going to the temple every week.
  5. My friends. I have AMAZING friends.
  6. The memories I have of my mission. The experiences I had and the people I met there have changed me forever.
  7. My health. I didn't realize before this year how thankful I am to be healthy as a horse!
  8. That I have a job.
  9. My car, Beyonce.
  10. Bandaids.
  11. Duct tape.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Jordan and Miranda's Wedding

Jordan and Miranda-Jayne got married on Saturday, November 21. Talk about a gorgeous day! The weather was absolutely perfect. We had tons of family in from all over the western states. Jordan has always been one who focuses on his relationships with people. Especially family. He jsut cares so much about family.

Jordan joined me at BYU for my last semester. We had always been close, but he really became my best friend during that time. Since then, we have stayed super tight. I am so happy that he has met his sweetheart and has started his own family.

The wedding was beautiful. They were sealed in the east sealing room in the Saint George temple. He is the fourth generation to get married in that room. It was packed. There were 100 people in all. It was the coolest. Although it was squishy, it was nice to see so many people there whom I love, and with whom Jordan has kept in close contact. It was what I want heaven to be like. Jordan and MJ looked so happy. Perfectly happy.

Coming out of the temple. They looked absolutely amazing.

The parents of the newlyweds

With Jordan's family

Perfectly candid shots just tickle my funny bone. So many great things about this picture.

With my best bud Jordy-Pants.
The luncheon was delicious, the reception was beautiful, and it was a great party. Congratulations you guys!!

Ice Age III

I promised my little sister I would spend Monday evening with her watching a movie. We ended up going to the sticky shoe, more commonly known as the dollar theater, to see Harry Potter VI(which I loved). Well, we waltzed into the theater and realized that it had started at 6:10 and not 7:15 as it was listed on the internet. Sad! So we went to see what else was playing. Since Ice Age was the only movie playing that was really suitable for kids, we went to that one. Worst movie ever. I think it ranks up there with Land Before Time XIV. Yeah. I think my sisters enjoyed it though, so I guess it was worth it. But don't go see it!

New Moon

So here is another post where I admit I joined the club and was one of the crazy women in America. I went to see New Moon. The 12:01 showing. The night it came out. I just have to say that it was awesome. So much better than Twilight. And it made me waffle from Team Edward. I mean, that Jacob guy is just so freakin cute. There is the cougar in me coming out again... But seriously. Hottie. Movies will always better when they are made with more money and a director that can actually direct. Sure the acting still isn't great, but at least the effects are better. And I will have to add pictures later. For some reason my computer is throwing a tantrum and won't let me do it right now.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Bloggity blog

I have been told that my blog is ugly and that it needs revamping. Well not ugly, persay, but un-interesting looking. This post is just to say that I am too lazy to change it. So there.

A Scene From a Holiday Commercial

I drove down to my brother's house in Cedar Hills last night. When I walked up to the door, I saw the sweetest thing in the world. It was like there should have been a camera crew on this room. Picture this. Alan was sitting on the couch talking to my sister Marilyn. Jenny was sitting on the couch just opposite with my little buddy sitting in her lap and she was reading to him. It just melted my little heart! After taking in the scene I tapped on the glass and Jared jumped down from Jenny's lap and ran over to see me through the window. He had the biggest grin on his little face. When Jenny or Alan ask him who loves him, he answers "Amahnda" (I love how he says my name). I love being the favorite Aunt ;)

Tuesday, November 10, 2009


I had my brother as a captive conversationalist on Saturday on our way to a top secret photo shoot to surprise my un-surprise-able mother. My Mamo is one of those people who will tell you she likes something, like she is hinting that you should get it for her for her upcoming birthday, or Christmas, or Mother's Day, and the next thing you know, it's sitting in her front room complete with lighting and placard. She's a difficult woman to shop for. So, I decided that we kids could update the photos she has up on her wall. So, I got one of my high school besties, Lesley to take some photos of us. You can find her work here. She's fantastic, really. I really love her style. I couldn't stop laughing while we were with her, except for when she told me not to, because I am good at doing what I am told. Anyway, I thought it was a really thoughtful gift, and a good idea for you people out there who have un-surprise-able people in your life. And if you use my idea, you should use Lesley too. You will love her.

Anyway, back to the captive. We were talking about hobbies. It seems like everybody has a "thing." Like music, or photography, or skiing, or soccer, or cooking, or gaming, or Bunko, or book clubs, or myriads of other "things." We were trying to figure out what our "things" were. Turns out, we don't have one. When people ask us what we like to do, it's hard to say. We like games occasionally. We like sports events occasionally. We like hiking occasionally. But what we really love is doing things with people we love. It doesn't really matter what it is - watching basketball, doing crafts, sitting there doing nothing. Doesn't matter. We thrive on our time with people we love. That's our "thing," I guess. And it's a little weird and can be maddening for some people. But that is just who we are. I'm glad Spencer is like that. I think that is why we have gotten along so well for our whole lives. I'm glad that is something he can't really change in himself either. I wouldn't want him to change it for all the rice in China. And there is a lot of rice in China!

Monday, November 9, 2009

The Chickens are Restless

I realize I didn't post anything from Halloween. But we had a great time. Check out Alana's blog for details. It was by far our best party and photo-op ever. You will find it here. And you all have Lauren to thank to have just a word to click on and not the whole link! Thanks Lauren!!

Friday, November 6, 2009


I got my hair cut by my fabulous hair dresser sister Alana. I just got a trim but then added some layers so I wouldn't have hippie hair anymore. Umm, pretty sure my hair feels super short. Like pixie short. But it is still like ten feet long. Weird. And I got my bangs trimmed. I decided that I am a girl who definitely needs bangs. I feel like a new woman.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Pioneer Woman and My BFF

I tend to be an overplanner. I think it is something that runs in my family. Just the other day, Alana grabbed Shawna by the shoulders, shook her, and yelled "Shawna! Stop overplanning your life!!!" It was a terrifying moment. Well, last night, I double booked myslef. But I didn't really know had until it was too late. I had planned to meet up with my brother, Paul, and his wife, Courtney to start watching Lost. But first I was going to go to a little book signing downtown. I figured I would be about an hour and a half. How wrong I was. I ended up not going to Paul's house at all, which made me really sad. I found myself surrounded by a huge crowd of crazy women. And I was one of them.

A few weeks ago, my BFF asked me to go to a little booksigning. No big deal. Sure. She sent me the link with the information. As the time got closer, I figured that I better read something about this lady I was going to go meet. Just so I wouldn't look like an idiot when I went and met her. I went to her blog. And I got sucked in. You can get sucked in too.

The Pioneer Woman

Anyway, I read her love story all day at work. And then I decided that I wanted to meet her too, cuz it was just that good and she was so dadgum cute. Somehow, I wrangled my little brother, Mason to come with me. Oh yeah, it was because we were going to go to Paul's afterwards. We left my house at 6:10, parked, and were met by six hundred crazy ladies. The signing didn't even start till 7:00.

See? It says 7:00.
So we bought a cookbook and headed over to the mass of people in the gallery next door gathering to wait for her to come in. Women are crazy. Crazy, I tell ya! We were all crammed in a little room packed wall to wall with people. We were lucky enough to actually get in. Because of firecode, they had to turn people away so they couldn't hear her talk about her book and blog. But we got to. As we walked in, they handed us a signing ticket and said it would be about an hour and a half wait. Mine had big O on top. I later learned that groups would be taken in according to the letter that was on the signing ticket. O! I hate the letter O!
So Ree the Pioneer Woman, aka the Author, came in and talked. I was too far to the back and side of all the crazy loud women to hear anything she was saying. Oh well. Then we were told to git because they were closing the gallery and to not even think about trying to sneak into line if we didn't have a letter A on our signing ticket.
That's her. This was taken by my giant of a brother and zoomed way in through window they had in the wall.
So Mason and I scrammed after we took a look at all the art and discussed what we liked and also our hatred of some of it. Apparently, we needed some enlightenment. So we went next door to Starbucks. The line was loooong. Long and filled with crazy women who wanted to get their cookbook signed by a famous blogger. When we finally got to register, we placed our order and they were fresh out of all the creme base stuff. Lame! So, to compensate for our long wait, she told us she would give us steamers on the house. Now that is what I am talking about! Mason is a giant luck charm! So we drank that and went for a walk and an hour and a half later they were on F. I never did like that letter. So we went back to the car and talked some more. And then I got tired. And Mason got hyper.

Apparently I am good at posing like I'm asleep. And Mason was excited.
About an hour and a half after that, we went to check again what letter they were on. J! I loathe that letter these days. And mom called and was getting a little upset that Mason wasn't at home yet. We should have just gone to Paul and Courtney's during the wait time, and I wish I had, but I didn't know how popular and friendly this woman was! So, rather than have Mason be in hot water with my parents, I raced him home. Then I came back and found a close parking spot. Score! And then I walked up to the bookstore and the conglomeration of cookbook crazed women had disappeared. There was noone standing in the yard. In the course of the 30 minutes that had passed, they had flown through the rest of the alphabet and I missed my stupid letter O slot. So I got in the back of the line and then they shut the door behind me. Five minutes later and I wouldn't have made it. I would have been more than a little miffed. But then Ree's mother-in-law came to the back and just started talking with us. She was way great. And tired. By this time, it was passed 11:00. So I wasn't miffed at all. I was dead last in line.

This is the mother-in-law. The mother of Marlboro Man.
So, I was standing by some pretty intense fans. Some drove up from Saint George to meet her. And they broght her cuppy cakes. That was sweet. But, I for one, wouldn't feel comfortable giving a chef baked goods. I'm just saying is all. Then I found out that some other girls flew in from San Francisco. Um, I get obsessive. But I don't think I get that obsessive. Anyway, half an hour later I finally reaced her table. She was absolutely adorable. She seems to me to be someone who doesn't recognize what a success she has become. And I like that. I like that a lot.
I finally made it back home at about 12:00. So much for some little booksigning!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

A Great Date

I was going through my emails and I found one I wrote to my BFF over the summer. Hope you enjoy!

I just have to say that I usually really don't like first dates, but this one was highly amusing! I couldn't keep myself from laughing - the whole time.

Ok, first of all, he is really cute. Seriously. Cute. Second of all, he is stinkin dang 24. I know, I know. I went to BYU. I guess I am destined to be a cougar! Just kidding. I am seriously kidding. Anwyay, so Sheila* (my cousin) and her husband Rusty* (Grady's cousin - Grady was my date) set everything up. Sheila texted and said they were going to be a little late so I was prepared for that. They came in his car, a two door Tahoe (and yes the two doors come into play later in the story, so keep your hat on :) ) a half hour late, 6:30.

Well, for the date we were going to go down to Utah lake, have tin foil dinners, and go fishing. Well, Grady didn't have a fishing pole so we had to go to Walmart and get him one along with bait. Way to be prepared guys! So the boys were in there for like ten minutes. Well, then we had to go get wood from their work (they work together). They have a bunch of wooden crates and watching them try to break them apart was so freakin hilarious! First of all, Rusty was wearing flip flops and him trying to break the boards with his feet was just killing me as his wife was right next to him demolishing a crate with out any trouble. (They are both like 90 pounds too, so that added to the hilarity). Maybe you just had to be there. Well, half an hour later, we are done with the wood and we have to go to Grady's house to get some more stuff and when he comes out we drive away and realize that we didn't have anything to light a fire. So we stop at the gas station before getting on the freeway.

So finally by like 7:30 we are finally on our way down to Utah Lake. Home free, right? Wrong-o! We get down to Utah Valley and end up getting lost trying to find the shore... Meanwhile, 90 pound Sheila is in the back seat getting hungrier and hungrier and grumpier and grumpier. Forty five minutes later we finally make it to the shore! We jump out of the car and immediately are attacked by swarms of about a bazillion bugs! Luckily I brought a hoodie just in case. I had the hood tied up and I looked so great and was sweating like a maniac. Anyway, we got the fire built and the boys put their fishing lines in the water. I didn't want to because of all the dang bugs.

So then Sheila and I put our dinners on the fire. Sheila's and Rusty's were nice and flat, perfect for cooking on a fire. Well, Grady had made ours. They resembled a mini football. And when I say mini, I mean a huge one. It was going to take forever to cook! So here I am trying to get away from the bugs, standing as close as I can to the fire to keep the bugs at bay, in my hoodie sweating my guts out wearing a shirt underneath that is very susceptible to "tacos." Good thinking Amanda. Sheila and Rusty's dinners were done and I told her to go ahead and eat, otherwise, I don't think she would have recovered :) So Grady and I are waiting for our dinner to be done while Sheila and Rusty are sitting on their camp chairs hovered over their food so the bugs won't get into it. Well, Grady and I decided to eat in the car because I was sick of having bugs fly into my head. So he got a box and a really really thin sheet of wood and made a little table over the console of his car. Our food was FINALLY done so we grabbed it, ran to the car and opened them up. Holy cats, it smelled delicious. After I had a bite of potato, we hear Rusty yelling "Let me in! Let me in! I can't take the bugs anymore!" (Enter: the part about the two doors) The bugs were thinner on my side so I jumped out to let him in. Letting him in let in several bugs, so that was kind of annoying. I ate another bite of potato. "I hate it here! I wanna leave! We should take our stuff and eat where there are less bugs!" (That was Rusty)

So Grady and I said that we would take down camp if Rusty would hold our food. So we handed back the table with our food very precariously perched on top of it back to Rusty in the back seat. Sheila hadn't minded the bugs so much, she was still outside making sure she was getting enough to eat. So Grady and I jump out, pull in the fishing lines, and then we hear Rusty knocking on the window. "Sheila! Sheila! Come in here and help me!" Turns out, Rusty did NOT like the bugs in the car so much so he had taken off his hat and started swatting them. Well, his hat got caught on the corner of our "table" sending our food flying all over the front seat. So Sheila was a good sport and took care of that mess while Rusty was sitting in the back seat holding what was left of our food. Finally we got everything back in the truck and the fire put out. We dove into the car and took off. Well, Rusty started freaking out because he could feel the juices from our tin foil dinners dripping from what was left and onto his pants. So he yelled at Grady to pull over so he could throw it out the window because there were bugs in it anyway. So Grady finally pulls over and Rusty chucks it out, looks down, and realizes that his pants were perfectly clean. Thanks a lot!

So Grady, starving as he was, decided that we were going to go out to eat. The clock struck 10:00. So McDonald's it was! We grabbed some food, ate it at Rusty and Sheila's and he dropped me off at home. Seriously, it felt like a "Meet the Parents" kind of night.

Anyway, I know this was very detailed and you probably didn't care THAT much about it. Oh well.

*Names have been changed to protect the, ahem, innocent.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Cookie cookie cookie cookie!

It's 10:00 in the morning and I just ate two cookies. Yes, lefteover cookies from the Halloween party. And they were delicious. And now I feel sick.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Halloween Goodies

Look at what I made! I still have a long way to go when it comes to the kitchen, and photography for that matter, but I had a lot of fun making these last night for out Halloween party.
I made caramel apples with homemade caramel. Oodalally! I dipped them in white chocolate and then in cinnamon sugar. Kind of like Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, but less attractive.
The one on the left looks devious. And he has a unibrow. How can you not love that? But my favorite it on the right. He is just so cute with his little hippo teeth.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

"I don't like confrontation!"

Ten points to those who got that movie reference. Anyway, I got a calling a few weeks ago. I was so worried when they called me out of Relief Society that I had been blacklisted for not being there so much. Like I had a big red target on my back. I was gone a lot over the summer, and the spring, and the previous winter... I went to church every week, just not to my ward. Anyway, they called me to be a ward missionary. So the Chairperson called me up to tell me about a meeting the following Sunday and also that I have a companion. And this companion is a boy. Excuse me, a man. My single's ward is a little older. The median age is like 27. I actually got called a spring chicken last night which is funny because I have been thinking that I am getting pretty old. Anyway, I went to the meeting and my "companion" wasn't there. I was relieved because I didn't really want to have to talk to him face to face just yet. You all know I'm nonconfrontational. Besides, I just knew he was going to be the biggest nerd in the ward. Nice attitude, right? Well, I got all caught up to speed and had my own little meeting with the ward mission leader and in walked my partner. My jaw dropped. Umm, he's definitely NOT a nerd. So we'll see if I can try to be more confrontational...

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

I don't like the dogs

I have had animals on my mind lately what with the death of the family cat. Especially since they already have her replaced. Yes, they got a replacement cat. I went out and bought a new car as a replacement for someone. They got another cat. I have come to learn the root of my dislike of animals. My mom doesn't like animals... that may have something to do with it... Just sayin... But anyway, you know how you can turn one emotion into another? That is exactly what happened.

This is me when I was about four. Yes I had a mushroom hair cut. I think it was cute, in a hilarious kind of way. It's weird to think that I look exactly the same, but now I have hippie long hair. Anyway, when I was about two and a half my family moved to Texas. About a year and a half later, we moved back to Utah. And this is where the story begins. Business wasn't any better in Texas than in Utah, so we had to bring the equipment back. My dad had to bring the dump truck back. It was an old dump truck, like a beat up tonka truck left in the sand pile for a long time. I loved to ride with my dad, so I got to go with him. Now, there was no passenger seat in this particular truck, just floor space. So I got my Strawberry Shortcake blanket all spread out on the floor along with my Rainbow Brite doll. Well, because it was an old beat up dump truck, we could only go so fast. Like 45-50 mph fast. I remember stopping for gas. My dad let me get a bag of Cheetos and some Hawaiian Punch, then we were back on our way. On the second day of slow driving, we got a flat tire. Dad pulled off to the side of the road to fix it. I got out and sat on the side of the road and just cried my little eyes out.

"Daddy! I can't take it any more! I don't want to drive anymore!"

It just broke his heart, I mean look at that little face! Anyway, while he was fixing the flat and I was crying, a pack of wild dogs came and started chasing me. I was terrified beyond belief. My dad rescued me but I was scarred for the rest of my life. So the fear that experience created has turned to dislike over the years. And it has spread to all other animals. It's called generalization. I learned about it in college.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


Yesterday, we laid to rest our cat, Allie. She was over eighteen years old. Anyone who knows me, knows I DO NOT like animals. Especially cats. But this one was different. She is the only cat I ever loved. I really am sad that she is gone. She was so laid back and sweet and knew not to jump up on or rub against me. But I think she knew I loved her just the same. I just loved her from a distance. She was always really good about not scratching kids who didn't know better. She tried to teach our idiot of a cat Callie some of her humble ways, but I think she was just too old. Allie has been limping around with pretty bad arthritis for a while, and she also lost one of her pointy teeth a while ago. It was a sad sight to see. Then, over this past weekend, something happened to her and she couldn't really walk at all. So my mom decided that we better do the humane thing. So farewell Allie. Please haunt Callie the moron and remind her how to be a good cat.

Monday, October 26, 2009


Sometimes, I really hate money. Like this weekend. My tire pressure light came on and I knew that I was due for some new tires. But I just wanted to buy the front tires. I think the alignment got off when someone hit a curb... it wasn't me... So there were bad wear patterns where there wasn't really any tread left. Darn those wear patterns. So I took Beyonce (that's the name of my car. She's a little spitfire. And when she's really sassy, she goes by Sasha Fierce) to Big O. I mean, I trust those guys. Well, I told them I only wanted to get two new tires for her front. Well, the guy went out and quickly came back in and told me there was a screw in her back passenger tire. I guess that could explain the tire pressure light. Duh. So, I shouted "Fine! I'll get three new tires!!" Those babies are expensive. Bah. So I left and hoofed it home. Then I got a phone call and they told me that the other back tire was really worn too and they strongly advised me to buy another $80 tire. "Fine!!" I shouted again. A million dollars, four tires, and an alignment later, Beyonce is back in business.
I did all this before I remembered my dentist appointment this morning. I don't have dental insurance anymore, hence my not going to the dentist for the last two years... But I decided that my teeth are worth it. So I went and got a cleaning and an exam. I was afraid my dentist was going to start making cash register noises the second I openned my mouth. But he didn't. He actually said everything was looking really good. So only a half a million dollars and only relatively small cha-ching sound effects, I have cavity free and gleaming ivories. I wonder if I could sell my teeth to poachers for some cash.

Thursday, October 22, 2009


I think pregnant people are really funny. Seriously, they crack me up. My BFF had her cute little tyke a little over two years ago. She got me edumacated about some of the things that happen when you are preggo. Like pregnant brain. For some reason, your brain goes out the window. And more people than just she has told me this. All of a sudden, you can't remember anything and you drop off midsentence leaving your listeners clueless. You can't ever decide what to eat and sometimes, you just don't know where you are. That makes me really excited to have kids...

Last night, my cousin clued me in on another thing that happens. I already knew it, I mean, my mom was pregnant all through my growing up years. I guess my cousin just reminded me. Pregnant people can't laugh too hard or too much. You hear a lot of "Oh, baby doesn't like that!" and "I gotta go!" or, "My tummy!"

I love it when preggo's say that "baby" wants this or that. "Baby is cold. It needs a blanket " or "Baby is tired. We have to go to bed." Sure blame it on the little shrimp inside you. I can't wait till I have that excuse: "I think the baby needs more cookies, and homemade ice cream... and more cereal" Pass it down!

I just figured it out, my mom was preggo for four and a half years starting from the time I was six. Of course there were a few breaks in there, but four and a half years. So I guess I know a lot of things about pregnancy. Like when your water breaks, you have time to take a shower and do your hair and put on make up before you have to go to the hospital. And everybody gets to go to Chuck-a-rama after they come and visit you and the babes. And you don't have to do the vacuuming for at least six weeks. And sometimes, if you have a mineral deficiency, you want to eat dirt. Mmm. Dirt.

I really, really can't wait for that.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Wrong Number

I got a text this morning. It said, "Good morning princess!" The number wasn't programmed into my phone and I didn't recognize the number. So I replied, "Well hello. Who is this?" He then replied, "Woops! I think I have the wrong number! Sorry!" Anyone who wants to call me princess can text me anytime.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Public Restrooms

Ok, since I was at a theme park in a humid place for five days straight, I learned a few things. One of these things is that my hair does not like humidity; I look like a buffalo wallow woman. Another, those big pretzels aren't that good when that's all you eat becasue everything is so freakin overpriced. Florida is hot. It makes you sweat. And it rains a lot in October. Who would have thought, I mean it is the end of hurricane season... I also learned I need to drink more water. Also, kids don't usually look around to see if people noticed that embarassing thing that just happened. Go to theme parks with people who love it like you do. Wear sunscreen. And I learned that I am not ashamed to sing Disney songs at the top of my lungs in the middle of a busy crowd. They tend to love it ;)

The most important lesson I learned though, is that I absolutely hate automatically flushing toilets in public restrooms. Who thought that was a good idea?! I suppose, in theory, it is pretty awesome. I mean, keeping things flushed can never be stressed enough. But, one wrong move and you get the worst bidet experience of your life.


I just got back, well on Sunday I got back, from a whole week in Orlando. It was a blast. But I do have to say, that a whole week without my family is rough indeed. People in my past have told me that they don't really know what is really important to me. I guess I should just make it easy for them right here, right now: my family is number one. The whole week I kept thinking, "Oh this would be so much fun if the little girls were here to see it!" Or, "Oh my, Alana would die that's so funny!" Or, "My dad would just love this!" Or, "Mason would LOVE this roller coaster!" Anyway, I learned a lot about myself. I'm a big baby. And I get homesick.

I was however in the happiest place on earth... so naturally I had a really good time. I am really good at keeping myself entertained, especially when I am surrounded by tons of entertainment. I went to Disneyland my junior year of high school. I was a little underwhelmed. I wanted rollercoasters. I couldn't really understand what all the hype was over all that stuff. Well, this time, I totally got it. I love Disneyworld. I am sure I would love Disneyland. I felt like a little kid again. It made me want to come home and watch every Disney movie ever made. It really was magical!

I can't believe how much detail is in every little thing. They had a Swiss Family Robinson tree with the bamboo water chutes and everything. When you had to wait in line for a ride, it was in the theme of the ride. So, I was in a dungeon waiting for Pirates of the Carribbean and a creepy hotel for the tower of terror. The electric parade made my entire trip worth it, and Fantasmic was absolutely incredible. They had shows going all the time and things for old and young and young at heart, which, coincidentally, I am all three.

I ran into my friend's parents while at Animal kingdom (which was my favorite). Talk about a small world. (I liked that ride too - It's a Small World). The roller coasters were great and we went on a real safari. A safari! I can definitely see why people get all excited about Disneyland. One day, when I have kids, we're going.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Dan in Real Life

One of my favorite movies these days is Dan in Real Life. I love this movie. LOVE it. Thanks goes to my sister Laura for giving it to me for my birthday. I watch it at least every two weeks when I can't squeeze it in to once a week. That means that I have watched it five times in the last seven weeks...which is no exaggeration. I tend to get on a kick and ride it out for a while. When I was a senior in high school, I watched Never Been Kissed every weekend. No joke. Then I fell in love with Mamma Mia and watched it over and over...and over again.
But back to Dan. It is just so hilarious. And real. Why don't they make more movies like this? I mean, I love it when I can identify with characters. I can't very well identify with action movie stars because, well, the most danger I am ever in is actually not my own danger at all. It belongs to the unfortunate soul who tries to wake me from my deep slumber. I like romantic comedies that aren't over the top. And this, is not over the top. I was a little weirded out by the fact that I was attracted to Michael Scott. I guess it was his human-ness. I don't understand why the cover has him with his head in a stack of pancakes, but that's ok. But it has some of the best lines. Ever.


"I can think of things myself, I'm in the fourth grade."

"I am going to try to make myself...less attractive."

"I don't want to go with the pig face!"

"This corn is like an angel."

And then there is that sweet scene where he sings "Let My Love Open The Door." Too cute.

(I could probably quote a lot more, but as I am typing I am listening to Elvis and he, the love of my life, is distracting me).

Anyway, I love this movie. I think you should love it too.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I miss my Alana!

My sister and I have the coolest jobs. Let me rephrase that: we had the coolest jobs until Alana was transferred last week to another office with no internet connection. We both work in offices that are really slow, so that means we can be doing lots of different things other than work. Refer to my Boredom post... Anyway, we used to chat online all day. "Napolean, you are just jealous because I have been chatting online with babes all day." I know all you guys wish you were us. But now that Alana isn't on the other line, it doesn't have much of a draw anymore. Stalking people has somehow lost its appeal. Imagine that. My youtube video searches have severely slowed pace. Alana has taken up word searches and she might even start reading. I curse doctor's offices who won't give out their internet code thingies. Just let her get on! I miss my Alana!

Friday, October 2, 2009


I just bit into a nasty pear. Disgusting.

Thursday, October 1, 2009


I love movies. I love going to movies. I love quoting movies.I love watching movies. I just love them. The only problem is, I inherited something from my mother. It is something that drives me nuts. I don't think I could name the last movie she saw all the way through. She just conks out. Like mother, like daughter. Now, sometimes I can control it and watch a movie from previews to credits, but when I am at home snuggled in a blanket, it just happens. Sometimes it happens when I am at other people's house. It is super annoying. Now, anyone who has been around when I get woken up, knows it can be a pretty funny experience. I wake up throwing punches, terrified out of my mind, furious and muttering threats, and rarely do I wake up without making a fuss. It happened again last night.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

FHE "Seminars"

So I got tricked into going to a dating seminar last night. It was disguised as Family Home Evening in my singles ward. I guess they probably announced that that was what it was going to be during the announcements that take twenty minutes during sacrament meeting. I tend to zone out, I'm not gonna lie. My friend twisted my arm into going. When I sat down and they started and I figured out what it was, I was tempted to get up and go. One thing I hate about single's wards is all the contrived ways to get people to date each other. It feels like a steel trap. But, I decided to stay, I mean, after all, I had already come and sat down. The speaker was actually pretty entertaining, and, as it turns out, very informative. I was indirectly informed that I do NOT know how to flirt. She started going on about all the ways women flirt and I came to the realization that I do NONE of these! Eye contact? Who makes eye contact with a guy they actually like? And smile at them? No way. And those are the two easy ones! One thing I have going for me is that she informed all the guys in the room that women do NOT flirt with the men they like. So if we are scowling at them, by all means, come and approach us because we like you. Oh, dating. Could it please be a little more difficult?

I have also been more directly informed that I am completely oblivious. When I got home, I called to catch up with my sister Shawna down at BYU, the land Bountiful. She told me she knew this guy who used to be in my BYU ward. Then she told me that he said he was totally into me back then but that I never gave him the time of day. Ok, this boy was a flirt and I figured he liked either my roommate or my roommate sister Alana. Besides I get all weird when I meet new people, and then he never talked to me, so I figured he hated my guts. Come to find out, none of those was the case. I just have blinders on. Like a horse. A blinded horse.

I guess it was a good thing this FHE was so "contrived." Now I can take off my pony shades and take a look around. And maybe I'll even smile at a guy that I am remotely attracted to rather than the weirdos I'm not afraid of.


Today is my sister's birthday. She would be turning 25. It is so weird to think about how fast time goes by and how much has happened since she passed away nine and a half years ago. Sometimes I wonder what she would be like and the kinds of things she would have accomplished by now. Would she have graduated from BYU? Would she have served a mission? Would she be married?

Anna and I were 13 1/2 months apart. Ever heard of same sex sibling syndrome? Yep. We definitely experienced that. Although we were always in competition with one another, we were eachother's champions. She was my best friend who I had to protect. We would walk home from school together and she would sing me the songs she was learning in choir. We would talk about the boys in her class that she liked. It was always kind of weird for me to see them walking around campus at BYU years later. We shared a room for years and spent a lot of hours laughing and talking. We went to camp together. We got SCUBA certified together. We drove my mom crazy and picked on poor little Alana. She would write me notes telling me things she couldn't say. We tried to compose songs together. We babysat our little sisters and brother all the time. We went to stake dances. We went to Young Women's together. We did the little girls' hair for school and church. We fought a lot but we loved eachother. We grew up together.

It's kind of funny. In my family, it seems that we celebrate Anna's birthday more than anyone else's. We do something bigger and make sure that everyone who is able can come. It is a time we celebrate the life of our sister we loved so well. Her short life has brought my family so much closer than we ever thought possible. I suppose that is her gift to us.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Park City

Lately, I have been itching to do stuff. Like, real stuff. My family does plenty of plain old stuff, but never do we do out of the house kind of stuff. Don't get me wrong, I love family dinners and get togethers at the house, but we don't seem to make as many memories as we would if we blew this town or went somewhere. I think Shawna lit this fire when she suggested we take a family vacation to somewhere other than Hurricane. Ever since, I have been a planning maniac. You should see the lists I make. Pretty impressive. Anyway, I decided that my mom's part of the family needed to get out of the house. We first were planning on going to Saint George and seeing a play at Tuachan but then decided that Park City was a better idea. Closer at least. Well, I don't think we could have picked a better weekend to go. The leaves are absolutely amazing. Like knock your socks off amazing. We played plenty of games, watched (slept through...old lady I know) a few movies, and took a look at the mansions my company builds. All in all, we definitely made some memories.A view overlooking Jordanelle and Deer Valley. This is what happens when I try to take pictures in a moving vehicle. It happened like six times. So I gave up and only started taking shots when we were stopped. I don't love blurry trees so much, I guess.
Spencer made dinner on Friday night. I never knew I would love Jimmy John's so much. They have delectable bread. We had French dips. He brought back my childhood.

Alana and Steve made breakfast on Saturday morning. They love to make breakfast. All I can say is that I love turkey bacon. My heck.
And just for the record, I was going to make dinner on Saturday night but everyone was too full from the sandwiches my mom insisted on making. I made the clam chowder yesterday and much to my surprise, it worked out and was delicious!!
Here is to family outings.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Bored. Bored. Bored.

Sometimes I get really bored at work. Like, really bored. I work as an office manager for a custom home builder. Since I started working here, we have mostly built second mansions up in Park City for out-of-towners. I really do a lot, not. I try to keep track of billing, pay office bills, order all sorts of stuff, vacuum, make appointments, look up stuff on the Internet, and the list goes on. If time equals money, then the most expensive thing I do it look up stuff on the Internet. That's pretty much what I do all day, to tell you the truth. You see, the building business has really retarded since the economy has tanked. Of course, there will always be rich people who have a couple mill to build a frickin' palace that they will visit for a few weeks during the year. But, most people are hanging onto their money for now. Except for me, I seem to be spending money like there is no tomorrow. But that is neither here nor there. The point is, I find of a lot of really funny things on the web. Some things make me laugh so hard. I have found some blogs that I love to visit - they belong to perfect strangers. If they only know how hilarious I found them, and didn't think I was a creep. But hey, it's on the Internet, in the public domain, right? I wouldn't think you were a creep, so why should they? Anyway, the point of this is to say that I haven't found one thing that can keep me from my boredom today. I'm just bored.

Thursday, September 24, 2009


I have a white shirt I was looking at the other day. It has big blue spots all over the front. I was trying to figure out what the heck happened... Then I remembered. A couple of months ago I was eating a frozen gogurt. I love gogurt. I especially love it when it's frozen. I bought a box and put it in the freezer at work. I occasionally need a popsically snack. It was a pretty hot day and I figured I deserved some yogurty deliciousness. So, I pulled one out and started eating it. I was almost done, except for the last little part that you have to squeeze out with both fingers flat against eachother. That really is the best part, you know. Well, as I was doing that, my hand slipped and blue gogurty goodness squirted all over my face, into my hair, on my desk, and down the front of my white shirt. Now I remember where those blue spots came from. And why I haven't bought gogurt in a couple of months.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Journal Entry

I have been going through my journals. They crack me up. This is one entry I found.

14 August 2008

So, Alana went with Steve and his family to Mexico for the week. I miss her a lot! I guess she asked Laura to take care of me while she was gone and Laura has slept over twice this week and checked up on me everyday. What a sweetheart! She splits my sides half the time and it has been good to spend time with her before school starts. I almost die laughing everytime we drive anywhere. Somehow, she usually ends up driving wherever we go. She is one of the jumpiest people I know (almost as bad as me!), so I like to take advantage of that. I usually will look around to make sure no one is around and then I'll scream. Oh my gosh her eyes go so wide with surprise, she jumps in her seat, and she has the most hilarious surprise scream! It's one of my favorite things in life. She also, for some reason, will press on the gas when she sees people with their brake lights on. That one I don't understand, but it's hilarious just the same. I keep waking up in the middle of the night and last night, she kept pulling my hair. She has done that since she was a baby, but now that she's older, it hurts a bit more! She used to say that her fingers were "hungry." Ha ha.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Metal Shop

A couple of nights ago, my brother-in-law had a disastrous time making rice. You should really be able to just boil it, right? Well, our family uses rice cookers. I love mine. It is the perfect size to have left overs. I adore leftovers. Well, when Steve called, it reminded me that Alana gave me her one serving rice cooker so I could give her my two serving rice cooker. I mean, it only makes sense. I am one person and they are two. I guess I just didn't want to let it go. Either that, or I just forgot and left it sitting up on the tippy top shelf in the metal shop behind our house. That's where I keep all of my kitchen stuff, at least while I am living at home. And yes, I do live at home. What of it?
I felt guilty after Steve made crunchy brown and over cooked white rice, so the next day I ventured out to the shop to rummage through my stuff to find my old friend. I kind of felt like I was betraying the little guy, I mean, I was giving him away after many happy years in college. And we did have a lot of happy times. However, he won't be up on the tippy top shelf in their house, so I can feel good about this. Anyway, I finally found it, climbed down the baby's high chair I used as a ladder, and walked back to the door. Much to my horror, I had closed it behind me when I walked in. The door to the shop has a one way lock, and that one way is from the outside. I tried to open the garage type door but it had a weird locking mechanism designed and engineered by my creative great-grandfather. I'm not so creative so I couldn't figure it out. It's a good thing I remembered to grab my phone or I would have been sleeping with the spiders. And I really hate spiders. Craig just laughed at me but came to my rescue. He taught me how to magically open the lock, just in case it ever happened again. If you teach a man to fish...or was it hunt? What was that quote? Either way, if you teach Amanda to unlock a door...

Monday, September 21, 2009


I met my best friend in seventh or eighth grade. It's actually kind of a funny story. We both have brothers named Spencer who are the same age. I think they were friends. So that meant that automatically we would be friends. Especially since they discovered that we were related. Actually, maybe that is why they were friends. Maybe this is how it went:
"Hey, my mom is a Stout" (Spencer M., NOT my brother).
"Hey that's cool. We should be friends" (Spencer S. my brother).
"Yeah, anyone descended from Allen Joseph S. is a rock star and is therefore my friend" (Spencer M.).
"And I AM a rock star" (Spencer S.)
Well, maybe that's not how it happened with them, I don't know how many rock stars Spencer M. befriended, but I can tell you how his little sister and I became friends, and we are definitely rock stars. We were in Mrs. Koritz's social studies class in seventh or eighth grade. We knew our brothers were friends so there was the obligatory exchanges, I was a shy little seventh or eighth grader. I ended up sitting behind her kind of a lot. In addition to being shy, I had some nervous habits. Annoying nervous habits. One of which was tapping my foot on either the floor or the leg of the chair in front of me. Poor girl. I don't know how I always ended up behind her to kick her chair incessantly, maybe we had assigned seats, but she would turn around and very nicely ask me to stop. Well, I was not only shy and had annoying habits, I also had a short memory when I was concentrating. One fateful day I was concentrating very hard on a particularly effort draining social studies question when I started tapping away. She kindly turned around and asked me to stop. "Oh, sorry." Eight, maybe ten seconds went by before my focus took me away to tapping out another tarantella on her chair leg. She flipped around. "STOP KICKING MY CHAIR!" I was startled enough NOT to tap her chair leg anymore. I would like to think that I stopped being annoying right then. But alas, seventh or eighth graders can't help but be annoying. Needless to say, we didn''t become BFF's at that time.
Fast forward a few years to sophomore volleyball tryouts. I think that's where we need to fast forward to, I have never been very good at time travel. Unfortunately, Annalisa jacked up her knee, which gives her plenty of grief to this day. I think we warmed up together on the court. We had more contact after that being big bad high schoolers and all. Fast forward to eleventh grade ladies chorus with Mr. Smith. That is where we really became good friends. She was sassy and fun and actually would come over and talk to me. Now, I think by the time I hit 11th grade I was over my annoying middle school stage, but I was still very shy (and still had a short term memory). She had to work on me a little bit, but once she got me talking, I haven't shut up since. Senior year we were inseparable, with ABish as well. We were Triple A. A is for awesome. She has been my BFF ever since.
Annalisa has been the best friend a girl could ever ask for. I got through high school because of her. I actually had friends. She helped me get through some life changing events and never judged me. She was the first person I told when I got my first kiss. Of course it was on tape and she didn't hear it for several weeks because she lived on the other side of the planet, but I wanted her to know. She is the one who got me thinking about serving a mission, something I never thought I would actually do. It rocked my world. She wrote me every week of her mission. She called me from the airport when she was shipping out to Australia. Made my day. I was the first person she told when she got engaged, of course it was on tape and I didn't hear about it for a few weeks after the incident because I lived across the world, but hey, she told me first. She gets my sense of humor and actually has a very similar one. Our parents never worried about what we were doing because we were good kids who hung out with other good kids. There are very few people who can make me laugh so hard I can't breathe. She is one of those people.
Annalisa is one of the best people I know. She wants to be her best self. She has a wonderful husband andthe most adorable daughter in the world. She is the best mom. Someday Iwant to be a mom like she is. Even though she lives across the country, Annalisa is still one of my closest friends. It's nice to have people in your life that even if you go for a while without talking to them, you can pick right up where you left off and things are still the same between you. Thanks for being my BFF!

I love you Dierks Bentley!

Saturday, I again realized that brothers plus sisters plus concerts equals awesome. Laura and a pink cowboy-hatted Rachel (complete with tiara) met Alana, Steve and me at my mom’s house. I wish I had a pink cowboy hat with a tiara. But I don’t. We drove out to Usana Amphitheater at 6:00 for a 7:00 Brad Paisley concert. Jimmy Wayne and Dierks Bentley were the openers. Alana was in charge of the tickets. She started passing them out and realized that, hey! It doesn’t start till 7:30! Little stinker. But that was ok. We love concerts. We parked and sauntered over to the ticket line to buy Laura her ticket, while Alana made her way to 101.9 the Eagle.
There are perks to being the best friend of the luckiest girl in the world. This girl somehow wins everything. I, on the other hand, have only ever won an Olympic pin from a drawing at my high school all night graduation party. And that was how many years ago?! So she walked up to Keith Stubbs and said “Hey! I know you! You’re Keith Stubbs! I love 101.9 The Eagle, I listen to you guys all the time! You gave me a love sack five years ago. (Yes, one of the lucky little punk’s many wins). I wanna spin the wheel.” Then Keith said, “Really? Do you like Dierks Bentley? You wanna meet him?” He then proceeded to hand her two back stage passes to meet Dierks Bentley. Meanwhile, unlucky little I was standing in the ticket line with people shoving past me. Nice.
I suddenly saw a little bouncy ball full of energy waving something in my face. “I’m going to meet Dierks Bentley! I’m going to meet Dierks Bentley!” I decided right then and there that ticket lines are not lucky. And it was because of lucky Alana that we got there early enough to even see any sign of back stage passes. Steve, the great man that he is, handed me his back stage pass. I love him. And yes, I know he is a married man. I tried to get Alana to calm down a little so I could find out what we were supposed to do. She was a bit star struck. You see, we have been obsessing over this man for the past week and a half in preparation for this concert. He is one sexy beast. And no, I am not married, so I can say that.
We skipped, ok ok, we didn’t skip, but we bounced our way down to the back stage pass fence. It was surprisingly ir-glamorous which means not glamorous (My friends and I like to play with prefixes – you know who you are). We had to wait for a while for the big gate to swing open, so we discussed what we were going to do when we saw him. I just stood there open mouthed where Alana was going to run up and just kiss him. I bet she would have if his hair was short, but it was long and curly. We felt special with our back stage pass stickers anyway.
To tell you the truth, I felt like a paparazzo with my little camera. I mean there I was with a bunch other people waiting in line to meet the guy, and how much do these guys really want to met? I feel bad for the suckers. Everywhere they go people are falling all over them and saying crazy things. It’s like they are subjected to a circus of crazies, on purpose. So I just walked right up to meet him and tried not to be one of the crazies. This was the encounter:
“Hi. I’m Dierks (as he extended his hand).” He pulled me in for the picture.
“I’m Amanda,” said a little demurely. I mean, he is pretty famous. And good looking, even if he is a little skinny. Dang, Gina.
“Nice to meet you.” Cheese.
“Nice to meet you too.” I reached for my camera and then,
“I really like that shirt, it’s really nice.” I had to wipe the spit from my eyes. Even famous people can be sprinklers.
“Thanks,” I said as I got ready to take a picture of Alana, that darn lucky girl. She walked up to him. “I love you!” She didn’t try too hard not to be a crazy.
“Well, thanks.”
I took the picture while the fan suppressant lady started coming toward me to shoo me away. I came closer to get Alana and then (!!)
“You have a nice show,” as he touched my elbow, yes he touched my elbow! I said I most definitely would.
Alana and I twitted and giggled off on our merry little way. Then I realized that I hadn’t picked up my purse and jacket so we had to walk back and get it. When you meet famous people, you kinda lose your head. Then we found out that only 25 people got those particular back stage passes. We felt really lucky. And in star-struck love. When he performed, after every song, both Alana and I screamed “I love you Dierks Bentley!” Because, you see, we’re not on a first name basis yet. And he’s famous: he goes by both first and last names. Maybe one day I will be famous and be able to just call him Dierks.
Yep. He put his arm around me. And he liked my shirt.
Never take a picture while laying down, but here is one with most of my awesome peeps I was with.
This one has Steve but not Spence. I have the coolest family.