Wednesday, September 7, 2011

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out

Ralphie as Adult: Round One was over. heh heh. Parents one, kids, zip. I could feel the Christmas noose beginning to tighten. Maybe, what happened next, was inevitable.
Mother: Ralphie, what would you like for Christmas?
Ralphie as Adult: Horrified, I heard myself blurt it out!
Ralphie as Child: I want a Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle. Oooooooh!
Mother: No, you'll shoot your eye out.
Ralphie as Adult: Oh no! It was a classic, mother BB-gun block. "You'll shoot your eye out!" That deadly phrase honored many times by hundreds of mothers was not surmountable by any means known to Kid-dom, but such as my mania, my desire for a Red Ryder carbine, that I immediately began to rebuild the dike.
A Christmas Story:

Christmas 2010 was magical. I got one of the best gifts I have ever received. In Relief Society the Sunday after, they asked us to stand up and tell everyone what our favorite gift we received was. Mine was by far the best that was shared: A 75th anniversary edition Red Ryder BB Gun.  I just love it so much. We have had a lot of good road trips and lots of fun in the back yard. 

Monday was Labor Day so a few of my friends and I decided we wanted to be Americans. We made homemade pizza (what’s more American than pizza?!), apple pie, and shot bb guns. We were shooting there in the back yard for a while, two at a time since we had two guns. I’m not going to lie. I’m a pretty good shot. I hit one of the targets hanging in the tree and then heard the neighbor to the back say “HEY!” I put the safety on mine and ran inside. I don’t know who had the other one, but they all got in the house – fast. We were almost out of bbs anyway. 

I went home and started reloading the guns in the family room as my mom was watching Yard Crashers.  She just loves that HGTV. 

I reached down to put the safety on the gun I hadn’t been shooting. The butt of the gun was down toward my feet and the barrel was about an inch from my shoulder. As I reached for the safety, I hit the trigger instead.


I had shot myself. In the shoulder. Idiot.

It didn’t even hurt really. It kinda felt like I got stabbed a little. But it didn’t even break the skin. My mom didn’t even know it had happened until I couldn’t stifle my laugh anymore. She was just glad I hadn’t shot my eye out. Now it just feels like I got a tetanus shot. In the front of my shoulder rather than the side. Hurty. But just a little bit hurty. 

So dadgummit, now I am going to take that gun safety class sooner than later.


Paul and Court said...

haha, that is just too funny! Glad you didn't shoot your eye out either! :)

Kate and Blake plus 3 said...

Wow. Just Wow!