Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Walmart and Biker Dudes

The funniest things seem to happen to me, I mean you, at Walmart.

Imagine you go with your mom to Walmart to pick up some last minute things before you head up to girls camp. You tell her you need to go to the men's hat section to get a hat big enough to fit on your huge noggin. She says she'll be in the food section.

You find the hats. They are all for sports teams. You don't know anything about sports teams. Why would any team pick a pair of socks to be their mascot anyway? You stand there trying to find something that won't make you look like too much of a poser.

A short, stalky, bald biker looking dude with a long gnarly goatee comes up to the side of you.

He says, "The first thought that came to my mind was, 'this must be where all the beautiful people come.'"

You think to yourself, "Yes. They come to Walmart." But you say out loud, "Yep! They hang out in the men's hat section!"

He continues walking away and turns back flashing you a sly smile.

That was weird. You continue in your shopping. About five minutes pass by and you STILL haven't been able to make a decision.

The short, stalky, bald biker looking dude with the long gnarly goatee emerges from the mens socks aisle.

"I missed you," he says, barely above a whisper.

He melts back into the aisle.

"Mother!" you shriek in your mind and take off running. Seriously. You were running.


Alana Nelson said...

hahahhah yessssssssssssss

Paul and Court said...


annalisa said...

there are not words. honestly. none. just laughter.

SUSIE E. STOUT said...

ewwwwwwww....... that is beyond creepy. But how can you blame him you are beautiful.

Jamie and Ben said...

Why you.. gosh, why you! You have to write a book. It would be a bestseller. Your stories are ridiculously hilarious... and creepy =)

Kate, Blake, Em and Noah said...

I say, that's what you get for going to walmart :)

Carly Smart said...

I love that story! ;)

Lauren Kay said...

hahaha! awesome. you have the best things that happen to you. stick to target :)