Monday, June 6, 2011

Dancing Bananas


I have had a request to post a certain story. Here goes. 

Imagine you are in your second semester of your freshman year of college. You go to a university that has 1.3 million students and about 10 parking spaces for said students. So you start your classes as early as possible so you can get a prime parking spot. Like 7.30. Yes. You ARE a smart freshman. After too many months of perfect attendance, you decide to skip your 7.30 math class so you won’t have to be on campus till 9.00. What you don’t realize is that EVERYONE thinks starting class at 9.00 is a good idea. You are no longer feeling like a smart freshman. You get off the freeway exit to find a gi-normous line of stop-and-crawl traffic. The roads are a little slick from the dust storms and rain the night before.

Your anxiety concerning being late starts making your stomach as tight as it’s ever been. At this rate, you are going to be late to class but you will have the buffest abs of your life. You finally reach a little shopping mall that means you are just about there. Traffic picks up. Your stomach relaxes a little. 

And there you see them: two dancing bananas standing on the side of the road just before the traffic light. 

You can’t peel your eyes off of them. They are just too weird. Dancing bananas? You let out a guffaw. 

You turn back to traffic.

But it’s too late. 

You slam on your brakes, but the road is slick and you were looking at the bananas for too long. Your car is a crumpled mess but still drive-able. You pull off to a side street where a young college student jumps out, takes a look at her bumper and says, “Wow, it didn’t do anything to my car! But let me get your information just in case. I have to go to class, I can’t miss it!” 

You give her your info and she takes off. You stare at your car in disbelief. The hood is crunched up to where you can’t see over the top. The headlights have popped out and are swinging sadly off to the sides. You definitely are going to miss class now.

You have to get home. So you unlatch the hood and flatten it out as best as you can. The lights are gonna have to hang out where they’re at. The 1.3 million students are all heading toward the school. But traffic going the other direction is clear. 

You start driving along and come to the first stop light. 

As soon as you stop, the hood flies up. 

You turn to the facing traffic and see fingers pointing straight at you and hear loud ringing laughter. 

Yep, that really just happened.

Your ingenuity comes up with a solution to the problem. You take the drawstring of your hoodie and tie the hood down to the latch.

You make it home without further incident.  

Turns out, your car is totaled.

You decide you really don’t care much for bananas.

2 comments:

Lauren Kay said...

Curse those dancing bananas! I'm sure the same thing would have happened to me...

annalisa said...

I hate bananas. They are the devils food.