Monday, May 9, 2011

Mother's Day

Today I want you to imagine you were asked to speak in your parents' ward in honor of Mother's Day. They moved into the ward while you were in college, so you don't really know people there, though you have met several of them at various activities you have participated in. Your mom is the Young Women's president, and a real fixture in the ward. She has given many lessons and has had many, many meetings. Therefore, you know your status as a single is known amongst the members of the ward.

You start your talk.

"Good morning..." Your stomache feels like you are jumping on a really bouncy trampoline.

Then you launch into it. You explain that buying gifts for your mom is really hard for you. If she says she likes something, you file it away as a good gift idea, but the next thing you know she is strutting around the house wearing it, or serving food out of it, or whatever.

So you say this year you have a really good gift for her.

It's something she has wanted for several years.

She prays for it every day.

And she would be getting her spare bedroom back.

You look straight at your mom in the congregation and say, "Mom, I'm engaged."

She sits there stunned for a second. Her jaw drops.

The congregation gasps in delight.

And then you say, "Just kidding. I'm not. You know I'm not. I'm not even dating anyone. But happy mother's day."

Ok, stepping out of the scenario, it was a riot. Seriously. You should have heard the bishopric behind me, "Did you see the look on Malia's face?!" It was classic. I wish you all could have been there. Happy Mother's Day!


Lauren Kay said...

Oh my gosh Amanda! That is SO funny! I wish I could have been there too! My mom would have died too!

annalisa said...

I LOVE IT!!!! I mean seriously, I WISH I could have been there! That is so rad!!!!

Paul and Court said...

ha! love it! :)

Alison said...

Amanda, you're awesome!

Susie Stout said...

BEST opening joke in a talk EVER!

Josh and Anna said...

Hahahahaha! Awesome Amanda:)

Alana Nelson said...

i just wish i was there!

Lindsay said...


Oh man! That is so freaking hilarious. I love you.